Thank you much for all of the humorous entries! There were many submissions to choose from and below you'll find our favorites. Please, no fighting in the forums over the loose chads; the decision is final!

1. When you lose the American Idol competition to remaining member of Milli Vanilli - captdunsel
2. When Clear Channel says "You couldn't pay us to play this record" - gdZiemann
3. The AOL install CDs are more welcome than your demos - CodeWarrior (our apologies)
4. When you are asked to leave Burning Man by a guy being pulled around on a toilet sled - captdunsel
5. You tour karaoke bars across America, opening for an old Japanese guy singing country music - undeath
6. The t-shirt sales go to zero, and the ear plug sales go way up - CodeWarrior
7. When your first hit is a death metal rendition of the Baja Men's, "Who let the dogs out?" - Akira36
8. Anti-drug activists vehemently urge you to overdose on heroin - undeath
9. When your "big break" is doing sound bytes for deodorant commercials - captdunsel
10. It's determined that all the band members but you have raging cases of narcolepsy - CodeWarrior

I don't think the AOL-install CDs joke was mine.

Either way CaptDunsel won! Good contest. It was actually fun.

Oh, man, I could've sworn I'd have more Top 10. At least my 12 Days Of Christmas one.

Congratulations, one and all...

the AOL install one was mine;

CodeWarrior
Date: December 21, 2003 @ 3:54 PM
Other ways to see your band is doomed
1) Wal*Mart holds up your tunes as "The way all music should be done, clean and inoffensive as milk"
2) The AOL install CDs are more welcome than your demos

THANK YA, THANK YA, THANK YA VERY MUCH.....(takes a bow). Now let's go Drinkin'....

I wonder if I'm too old to get breast implants?

Congrats CaptDunsel
Happy New Year Man~!

thanks much for the kind words everybody, Hope you all have a safe and happy new year. (I'm spending it at work)

Too bad I didn't hear about this contest.
(doh!) Good liners though. lol

Some OTHER ways to know your band is doomed.

1. The sheet music to your songs can be found printed on toilet paper.

2. The song "Fuck, Shit, Piss" is declared less offensive than you are.

I still think "Your band is doomed when you sign on the dotted line" is better and more true than all the above!



Shmoo, of Electric Gypsy
Support Local and Independent Music!

Gotta agree with Schmoo, thats killer, loved the other ones too, Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Congrats capt, I still like..."When you hear your pilot request emergency clearence"...

Who posted that again?

Happy New Year boycotters! (Hey, guess what, it has been a YEAR since I seen any of y'all!)

SHMOO



(Celebrating early obviously!)

"You rename your death metal band 'Acapella' as you leave the pawn shop."

(not mine, stolen from Mitch)

Cool, I made it on the list!!

that was a fun contest should have some more of them

Congrats, all!

I agree with Darkhorse: I with I had heard about this contest earlier. In retrospect, the first thing that came to my mind was:

You definitely know that your band is doomed when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles both agree, "I'd rather be deaf!"

Congrats, Captdunsel.

Yep - i didn't know about the contest either...

Hmm -

Your band is doomed when the RIAA all of a sudden gives you a check for the money they stole and apologizes with a 3 room presidential sweet in the Ritz with "hired" fans waiting at its front door with empty CD cases with your "low-quality" inkjet print-out cd covers Scotch-taped from the inside.