By Newt Jonton, p2pnet.net

Sources close to the RIAA and MPAA say the two organizations are to merge their resources and staffs to become the Record and Motion Picture Industry Association of the World (RAMPAW, prounced 'Rampaw'), says p2pnet.net in an exclusive report here.

The web site says Hollywood Howard Berman will retire from politics to take up the post as chairman, RIAA president Cary Sherman will become RAMPAW's first ceo and Hilary Rosen will leave her position as CNBC 'Squawk Box' anchor to run the new organization's Reality Realignment and Fact Adjustment Bureau (RRFAB, pronounced 'arfab'). MPAA boss Jack Valenti, 99, will be PR controller.

"I was completely amazed and surprised when I was asked to chair RAMPAW," said Berman at the 'coming out' party hosted by the new organization in an exclusive Hollywood Hills retreat.

"I'm absolutely thrilled," said Rosen. "It'll be real."

"It'll be just like old times, except it'll be new," sparkled Sherman. "Now we'll be able to give the music and movie loving public around the world exactly what they deserve."

Said Valenti, "These online pirates think they've been getting away with it. Well, they have. But that's all going to stop. No longer will they be able to think that. And no longer will they be able to get away it."

In her first public statement, Rosen said RAMPAW will organize and fund its own US political party to help politicians and their staffs better understand the difficulties facing the entertainment industry as it strives to overcome criminal online piracy, and to better understand the steps the US administration will need to take to combat it.

The party, to be called the First American Political Management and Persuasion Party (FAPMAPP, pronounced fapmap), will be headquarted in Washington but will have fund-raising offices in principal capitals around the world, says p2pnet.net.

"RAMPAW will also be creating the Entertainment Industry Security and Investigation Unit (EISIU, pronounced 'easy-you') said Rosen.

"It will be made up of senior retired police officers from enforcement agencies around the world and will work with national and international agencies such as Scotland Yard, the FBI, CIA, NSA and SPCA to help them find and prosecute file sharing criminals everywhere."

Entertainment industry trade organizations will fund RAMPAW.

Rosen said she, Berman, Sherman and Valenti will appear on prime-time television public awareness announcement spots voluntarily hosted by radio and television broadcasters around the world, "to brief discerning music and movie lovers everywhere on our plans, all of which are being designed solely with their benefit in mind."

She added that Microsoft and other major hardware and software companies will start crash projects aimed at developing technologies to enable RAMPAW members to remotely control product flow to and from home user entertainment and communications systems.

"In this way, we'll be able to serve consumers better," added Rosen.

is this a joke? Say it isn't so. This is like finding a hydra breathing fire~

It's gotta be a joke. It's just too perposterous, even for the entertainment industry...

Yes Code, it's a joke.(I hope) A good one I might add. I loved the SPCA thrown in. Too bad we can't cage them! Pepe

It's a sign. Look at it like this: When I worked as a security guard at the local mall, anytime a store had a "big sale" or "big close-out" sale, it was a red flag that the store was planning on leaving the mall and we had to make sure they didn't skip out without paying their rent. I see this as a sign of the RIAA weakening and having to merge with someone else. It's a sign of weakness. I think they're realizing they made a mistake. Sort of like the Japanese when they bombed Perl Harbor. They realized soon enough that they had awakened a sleeping giant and could never win the war.

lol...must be a joke..newt jonton
(jon newton)..had me going...good one Jon~

you have gotta be fucking kidding me...

We will still prevail...

Heh, this site will have to evolve. Boycott-RAMPAW.com and Boycott Microsoft.com. It's actually a fitting acronym for them considering how they ram their paws onto as much cash as they can get. Heh, reading this stuff is depressing me.

"In this way, we'll be able to serve consumers better," added Rosen.

What the hell?!!!!!!!!!!! Serve us what? Shovels of shit? Well, I for one, will NEVER be a customer of theirs! Not only are they trying to control everything about music and movies, but they are sucking the police and government in too! How the hell can this be happening? It appears that the RIAA will soon control and run the entire world. EVERYTHING will be the way they want it. We will all be puppets! I never thought I would see the day when our government could not "chop off the head" of such an evil monster! I think I would rather be in Hell, or am I already? Audio and video are not the only forms of intertainment. Maybe I ought to convert to Amish. I wonder if the RIAA would LET me?!!! The RIAA make Adolf Hitler look like a saint! I honestly believe they would resort to mass murdering if they felt they had to.

Please let it all be a joke!

if this truns out not to be a joke god we can only hope it still dose take into account that it will be inavatable the riaa and the mpaa will comine forces becose thay will be running out of money but it's to soon if thay come togather now we might be dealing with to much power for us to deal with thay have to much money right now and this would make are boycotting efforts null it would be like trying to take on mirosoft but i think the mpaa has more common sence then hopping into bed with the riaa with the whole sue them all thing going on i mean thay have addepted a bit better letting folks rent dvds online (shrug)

"I'm absolutely thrilled," said Rosen. "It'll be real."

Well gee...oh goody...Ill get fuckin the tea and crumplets and you get the vibrator cuz Im tickled pink!!

*giggles like a hysterical old lad*

It's gota be a joke

Read closely people...

It has to be a joke. I checked out the RIAA website...no mention of a MPAA/RIAA merger.

You people are realy smart and realy gullible(spelled wrong?). How could you not beable to tell this is a joke. Come on ive been reading your posts for a long time you folks know better.
DIE RIAA DIE DIE DIE

Damn It....They promised me the "Reality Realignment and Fact Adjustment Bureau" job. I'm gonna Sue. And send a supeona. Where is that congressman that I paid off. I'm Sueing him too.

lol

It may be a joke, but this could be the thing that was happening. All this suing people was to keep our eyes off of it. The RIAA has been known to use distraction techniques before. Since the big 5 is associated with a major tv network, they could distract the public through news coverage. It's happened time and time again. If it is a joke, it is a very good one, but a very depressing one, too.
If they merge, it would be the largest monopoly on the face of the planet, bigger than Microsoft. Not everyone owns a computer, but everyone watches movies or listens to music. This is bad news, indeed. If this new corporation combines forces with Microsoft and US Congress, I'll deny citizenship in the US. This would be a one-sided assault on the American public. And there would be nothing we could do to stop it, short of revolting and forming a new country. If this turns out to be true. I see a new American Revolution in the near future. Just like our forefathers escaping the tyranny of King George, we will need to escape the tyranny of RAMPAW. If you move the letters around you get WAR MAP. Bad news. I will have to take a look around some of the investor websites. If there is a merger, news about it would be leaked to them first. Let's hope and pray this is a big joke.
Let's see here. $20 dollars for a cd containing 45 minutes of music. That would make a 1.5 hour movie $40 dollars.

ok, well april is 5mos ago so it's not a 'fools' story. if it's true, it's only so they can pool what little funding they have left, and maybe pass another draconian law that makes it illegal to discuss entertainment without a license and offenders will receive shock therapy and re-education and their wages garnished to pay off their offense.

THANK GOD: http://search.news.yahoo.com/search/news/?c=&p=RAMPAW

I tried google for:
rampaw, riaa/mpaa merger, mpaa merger, riaa merger, mpaa merger riaa. Nothing came up in regards to this. But it could be something being kept quite.
I work for the nation's largest mail-order pharmacy. The pharmacy was owned by the largest pharmaceutical drug manufacturer. Last month, the drug manufacturer spun off the pharmacy as an IPO. I knew this was happening 1.5 years before it was spun off. Nothing was known about it online. Investors didn't know about it until 2 months before it happened. They only knew because the drug company had to file with the SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) to complete the spin off. It wouldn't suprise me that they would merge. Everything would be very quiet until they formally announce the merger to the SEC to start to verification process. As soon as they announce it to the SEC, investors and the such would know and prepare to offer shares for the new company.

Sounds like a joke. The quotes are kinda weird and use bad grammar. I did like how the used the merger of two "American" entities and formed a "World" one.

newjon, you forgot Greenpeace.

LOL

September 12, 2003 6pm Pacific, Tech TV open mike. Is anyone from the Bay area AND visits this site going to be there?

Code, r u going to be there???

It could be like the Jerry Springer show.

Come on people. This is a joke. How could two U.S. companies become the record and motion picture association of the WORLD? LOL!

I mean Music Wars open mike. Sorry about that

AverageConsumer - Gosh golly! How did I overlook Greenpeace! heh

Surfside6, I wish I could. I checked the flights from the east coast (where I live) and it would cost about $800 to get there and back at this point. I wish they had let us kow a month or so ago and I vuld gotten a ticket much cheaper...

IFeelFree...
Simple, how can 1 software company produce software that is ran on 90% of the computers in the world? How can that same software company merge with a large television network?

It is no different than a large pharmaceutical drug manufacturer merging with a large pharmacy to rig prices.

This concept reminds me of when the large drug companies (Merck, Pfizer, AstraZeneca, Bayer and Bristol-Meyers Squibb) merged with pharmacies (Medco, Advance, PCS, Express Scripts) to create mega-mergers coined PBM's (Prescription Benefit Managers). With these merger's they were able to raise to cost of prescription drugs to astronomical prices and charge anything they wanted to the insurance companies and the consumer. They frequently changed the patient from a drug manufactured by another manufacturer to a drug that they made. They called it managed care, but it was actually a very fascist and greedy approach to robbing the insurance and the patient.

I can see where this merger could be a very true thing. But I don't think anything like this will happen anytime soon. Consumer outpour to the FTC will prevent any such merger. Especially if they do own 80-90% of the worlds entertainment.

Well, this is it. True fascists. Centralize everything and then control the output. Yes, hopefully the FTC says NO. I think as a punishment, all of those execs should be spanked on live television. By their mothers. Because they are being very VERY bad boys.

Um no more comparisons with RIAA and Hitler, I mean...its one thing to be bankrupted for downloading a song....its another thing to be thrown in a gas chamber for being a Jew.

OK, you guys mention Hitler again, and I invoke Godwin's Rule.

SPCA! - haha

This is a joke.

These are the cold hard facts:
1)Mp3 will ALWAYS exist.
2)People will always share and swap.
3)The RIAA can't fight everyone.
4)They have not and will never catch me.

To quote a famous icon of my generation "meep meep".

John, I'm green with envy. This was superb and even had me going for a minute. Now back to my thorazine......

what's up with these false articles.. this is the second one i've come across in a few weeks... to be honest they are a tad annoying... satire is one thing, at least if you do it put it under a different section...

It's a fact article. Some of you people are so gullable.

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if they did merge, what with their monopolizing ways.

Here's something annoying:

http://au.news.yahoo.com//030904/11/lkfp.html

The RIAA has announced an amnesty program for file-sharers. The arrogance! Here's a quote:

"...the RIAA will not pursue legal action if infringers delete all unauthorized music files from their computers, destroy all copies (including CD-Rs) and promise not to upload such material in the future. Each infringing household member will have to send a completed, notarized amnesty form to the RIAA, with a copy of a photo ID. Those who renege on their promise will be subject to charges of willful copyright infringement."

Note that the amnestry program doesn't apply to people they already have subpoened.

Also, Boston University has joined MIT and Boston College in refusing to turn over student names to the RIAA because of the jurisdictional issue. It's not a big deal but worth noting:

http://southend.wayne.edu/days/2003/September/942003/news/boston/boston.html

Stop giving them ideas.

good one "Newt Jonton"

They should make a merge called 'RAMROD' which stands for Radical Ass Monkeys Reaching for Online Destruction.

also while there at it change RIAA to Rights Infringing Assholes Association

then MPAA could be called Moronic Plague Association of America

>:+D

As long as we're talking about crazy people and mergers, PETA should have been included in that.

THEY will spend MILLIONS on this crap shit thing. To save them millions. And even after all the piracy is gone they'll still need to waste MORE money to continue governing the system. Why don't they just live and let live.
CEOs n Managers earn huge bucks while artists get much less.

Love live Freedom Fighters

To Newt Jonton:

Dude, be careful. You might give them ideas.

hell lets throw in microsoft and aol time warner mega mix in to it.

so you would have the RIAA, MPAA, AOL, Time, Warner,Microsoft, Peta, SPCA merger as one big fucking monopoly.

Go to jail, Don't pass go, don't collect $200

who wants connecticut avenue?

The best satire is written with a thread of truth sewn in. I'm sure this is a joke, but the truth of the matter is, this is something that could be happening. Sherman and Valenti have long had the same thoughts (hrmm, maybe the same person??) and this would be one way to get the money of the MPAA aligned with the subpoena and stupid bravado of the RIAA.
Kudos to whoever came up with this idea tho.. VERY Orwellian and well timed.
ttmmm

Has anyone even seen this article. Delete it if it is already posted.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030905/ap_on_hi_te/downloading_music

I got as far as the first paragraph and realised it was a parody. Gave me a giggle. But I could imagine it actually happening when the RIAA is on it's last legs.

Thumbtack ,
If we passed the hat and collected enough cash, would you be able to go then? Sorry for off subject

WABBITMAN

of course its satire....maybe if they aligned themselves with the SPCA they would get bitten by some rabid cats and then revert back to sanity

must admit the headline got me, funny as hell and great for a laugh started reading and was like "no way!" then relized a couple lines down it was in fact a joke, and glad ya got our friends over at the SPCA tossed in LOL

AMNESTY? From the RIAA? Fuck that shit! The nerve of those bastards. Cary can suck my dog's left nut.

Every move the RIAA makes makes me want to boycott even MORE. Death to their entire industry!

Code.. I've been reading your posts.. just wanted to give you props on standing up to these fools.. keep up the outstanding work.

KMA-RIAA... you're hilarious.. and I agree with ALL your posts .

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2003-09-05-riaa-amnesty_x.htm

RIAA to offer amnesty....check out article on usa today tech section!

Click on Tech section of USA Today!

This is getting WILD!

ostreamh- thanks man...we're all in this 2gether
~code

lol...meant iostreamh , sorry for typo

There was something in the news I say yesterday about how the record industry is going to cut prices a little in an effort to boost sales. Comes to like $13 down from $17. And, the wholesale price dropped to like $7 or 8 so stores can sell cheap.

This is an Important Message from http://music.tinfoil.net.

http://music.tinfoil.net/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=761

"It was reported on a number of sites much larger than this one that the MPAA and RIAA were to merge. The original story is here at Boycott-RIAA.com.

I will admit to having been duped in the past. You can see a few here and here where I very nearly rant he Metallica E-F chord progression story. It *can* happen, and while none of the stories ran here were deliberate falsifications, I was still guilty of not checking things out first. It is a comment, I suppose, on what the internet has done to media and reporting.

The internet give virtually everyone a forum for which to become a reporter. Take me for example. With my lousy writing skills, I would very likely be unemployable as a regular print, television or radio reporter. However, I have a semi-succesful website with a quarter million hits a year.

Fast forward to much larger sites like Boycott-RIAA. That publication is often quoted in even larger publications. It is one of the defacto anti-RIAA websites and a great place for information. Given this, it is understandable when news-agencies as well as other websites will take Boycott-RIAA for it's word, believing what is printed there.

It is for this reason that I am in disbelief that they would actually deliberatly falsify a story. A rather important story to boot.

What's the deal you may ask. This makes Boycott-RIAA look bad. As that site is one of the premier anti-RIAA sites, it can also cast doubt on the smaller sites. If one of the perceived leaders of a movement passes off fiction for fact, then it casts doubt on the followers."

kyodylee, yes and no, now i don't want anyone to take offence to this, but even as tired as i was as i read it *i either check this out first thing when i wake up or late at night* i knew it was false, and if you have any doubts you should have known just from the SPCA refrence but there are many clues and should be fairly easy to look though to see it was just made to make people see just how bad it COULD get, and to help our over stressed minds relax a bit by laughing, cause i know because of the RIAA BS going around i'm laughing alot less then i used to....so i thank him for the humor that i thought was easy to see though, bt great for a laugh

I also knew it was a satire, I've even posted some myself at this site. But I clearly labeled it. I like humor as much as the next person.

But if you look at the early posts on this topic, even knowledgeable people here (including Code), had trouble at first determining this story's validity, although they were able to quickly catch on.

I think this site still has a bit of a split personality. It started off as both a boycott site and a joke/parody site of the RIAA. Over time though, this site has gained the well-earned RESPECT of the online community for this cause. Casual visitors and other interested persons now take what is written here in the "News" section verbatim. They TRUST this site at its word because of the reputation it has earned. They don't come here for satire. Also, we have forums for satire, parody, gripes, complaints, and bitches.

I think we did the community a disservice on this one. I think we dropped the ball. I think we let the community down. Just my opinion.

Now if you have broadband and want a good laugh, listen to what I propose as our Theme Song:

http://upload.tunes.com/usercontent/artists/T/Travis,_Abby/media/the_hate_song.mp3

That song would be hilarious if it wasn't so true.