Dear Friends and fellow Wesleynauts ...

We are deeply saddened to report that Wesley Willis passed away on August 21. He'll be greatly missed by all that had the privilege to know him, as well as the fans who have been fortunate enough to experience his genius.

Wesley was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) at the end of 2002, and had to undergo emergency surgery on June 2nd to identify the source of, and to suppress, internal bleeding. It is not clear if this bleeding was related to his leukemia or not, and the exact cause of death is still unknown. Wesley had been recovering at a Hospice in Illinois, and since the surgery his health had deteriorated rapidly.

His songs were simultaneously disturbing, hilarious, blunt, and intoxicating. Wesley's sheer excitement and unaffected honesty about every cultural phenomenon, defined his music as truly individual, and truly punk rock.

Wesley released well over 50 albums - 3 of which are on Alternative Tentacles, and a 4th, entitled, Wesley Willis Greatest Hits Vol. 3 (CD) had already been scheduled for release in October of this year.

For more information on Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia, please visit http://leukemia-lymphoma.org.

Currently there are no plans for any funeral service but we will inform you if there will be.

Argh. I forgot the link:
http://alternativetentacles.com/wesleywillis.htm

That's fucked up... Wesley was someone who made me realize that if he can do music.... anyone including myself can?

*sigh*

I knew people would be objecting to what I said in my journal.

I was worried someone would think I was basically saying "if a retard can make it in music, anyone can." I may have very well been saying that, but I really mean no disrespect towards him at all, and I am sorry if I have gave off the impression that I have.

What I think was trying to say basically is that I was inspired by Wesley's rags-to-riches-like life story...

*sigh*

I have a feeling that's not going to cut it, either...

Dammit...

I can never defend myself or my opinion properly in an argument. So why do I even bother ?

I guess this is actually a good reason why people should fear their children becoming open-minded at an early age and just remain sheep, they just don't want them to be caught in situations like this.

What I've been saying has indeed been the result of arrogance. I have most likely been assuming that I, too, am a savant or something to that degree, when I'm clearly not. Wesley had impressive talents that only a handful of people can do- I've got nothing. I've been stepping all over him all this time, and I'm ashamed of that.

I've had *way* too many grandiose delusions about my music, when in reality, I'm not even really that satisfied with a lot of the songs I've came up with. I just make some stuff without even caring about it, and if there's something I don't like about it, I'm too lazy to go back and change it to my specifications, because with what I'm actually doing, there's technically no way to change the parts I want without screwing up the rest of the song. I give up on that, then toss it up on places like this, feeding my ego with the positive comments rather being content with my own personal satisfaction.

Is my *presence* in music justified ? I'm even in doubt about that now. I like listening to it and I want to make my own, but I'm not satisfied with what I come up with. Wesley was my crutch all along, and I'm going to be burning in hell for it.

Even for writing cacaphony, I'm utterly tone-deaf, and I used Wesley to make me think it wasn't even a problem ! I'm fucked for sure, now.

I'm too easily distracted and way too slow-on-the-draw to do even a regular conformist sheep's job, for the previous reason and my arrogance, I can't do music, art, or another open-minded person's job, and I'm too weak and uninterested to do a simple but strenuous job like physical labor, so what SHOULD I be doing for the rest of my life ?

Whereever you are, Willis Wesley, Peace to you and yours.

...sorry, I just cannot type in the morning! thanks to Wesley's spirit for making a difference, as it is reflected here. All life, including this one, makes a difference.