Run Over by the RIAA Don...t Tap the Glass

By Cassi Hunt

Either since the day I visited my first aquarium or the day Goldie came into my family’s life, our parents have told us not to tap the glass of the fish tank. It’s cruel to Goldie — I understand and respect that. I mean, heck, I am a vegetarian. But would we have many qualms over a little water perturbation if Goldie were, say, a bloodthirsty shark? I’d knock on that glass to the near-cracking point. And in that spirit, I decided to call up my new friend at the RIAA negotiation hotline again. (Hereafter I’ll refer to her as Bowie, which means “yellow haired,” as I’m pretty sure that’s the case.)

Last time I spoke with Bowie, the conversation was pretty much over after she named $3750 as the settlement amount. (I haven’t actually agreed to settle yet.) So when I called her again, I asked — again — about how to negotiate that amount. I counted on the fact that self-important types wouldn’t be inclined to remember a lowly pirate like me. Bowie didn’t disappoint. She launched into her spiel about how the RIAA doesn’t negotiate settlements. I told her that it was too much to ask for thousands of dollars from a college student who only makes just enough from term and summer employment to still come out a couple thousand in debt.

Bowie replied that the RIAA was oh-so-kind enough to offer a six month repayment plan. At this point, I was beginning to speculate on Bowie’s hair color, and decided to switch tactics. I concisely and calmly explained how the situation was ridiculous: they weren’t offering a settlement, they were issuing an ultimatum! Let us screw you over gently now, or with chains and whips in court. Surely there must be some flexibility for individual cases.

Well, she replied, they do make allowances if something like a medical emergency comes up. Now we’re getting somewhere. “And who would I talk to about a situation like that, because I’d like to talk to them now.”

“Me,” she replied. Ever feel like your nose has just been flattened by something large and solid? I mean, besides the doors at 77 Mass. Ave. “But you’re not in a situation like that.”

Oh, but I am. The Institvte has left me with severe bouts of p-set-induced insomnia and a case of stuck-to-desk-itis that recurs two to three times in a semester, then again just before break. And my wallet certainly takes a hit for it.

But as much as I tried to argue that I was in as unique a situation as someone with medical expenses, there was no getting through. Bowie even had the audacity to say, “In fact, the RIAA has been known to suggest that students drop out of college or go to community college in order to be able to afford settlements.”

Are. You. Shitting. Me.

There you have it, fellow Techsters: proof of the fantastic levels of absurdity to which the RIAA attack has sunk. The Recording Industry of America would rather see America’s youth deprived of higher education, forever marring their ability to contribute personally and financially to society — including the arts — so that they may crucify us as examples to our peers. To say nothing of wrecking our lives in the process. I finally understand what the RIAA meant when they told me “stealing music is not a victimless crime” — the victims hang for all to see.

Please, RIAA — if any competent representative happens to enjoy flipping through The Tech — please tell me Bowie is a moronic tool who can’t help what the Superior Gray Coverage Golden Blonde hair dye does to her mental facilities. Please tell me you actually care about the futures of the age demographic that buys most of your music (http://www.riaa.com/news/marketingdata/pdf/2004consumerprofile.pdf). Your evil pirates are people too, people who enjoy music and almost always still purchase it legitimately. Each has an individual life and circumstances that deserve consideration, if not for the sake of empathy for your fellow man, then for the sake of business sense.

Sure, if you commit a crime against someone, you should be held accountable. But I find it horrifying that anyone would single-mindedly and without compassion process people like a meat grinder set to purée. So while the RIAA continues to play the part of shark, I’ll continue to stand behind the glass, tapping away, wondering which of us is on display.




This article originally appeared in The Tech, issue 15 volume 126. It may be freely distributed electronically as long as it includes this notice but cannot be reprinted without the express written permission of The Tech. Write to archive@the-tech.mit.edu for additional details.

Saw this article already, but hey, nice to see it here too

After the URL included, the word "Your": Laughed silently to myself when I read it as "You".

My question is, how did the RIAA make the fines so legally high. Say if you illegaly downloaded one RIAA CD. Would that be $3,000? How does the fine system work? Shouldn't the fine be the price of the CD plus $50-$100? How is this legal

If you settle out of court, the settlement is whatever they ask for. The law does not come into play.

Oh, the amounts have been MUCH, MUCH, MUCH higher than that. As far as what they're suing for. Keep in mind that is the RIAA's SETTLEMENT amount... a fraction of what they CAN and WILL sue for. I mean, I remember seeing reports of people being sued for $30,000 and stuff. I can’t find any right now for some reason… hey, can anyone here? Any ways, if you can… post some links up.

The way it works out is… is that they can charge some ungodly price for each song. I don’t know remember too much about it… Ziemann, you outta’ remember something about it, right? Like the RIAA as a set price on each song they can or will sue for, which then makes sharing a few songs a couple thousand dollars easily?

it's amazing to me really. I've heard this story a dozen times or so in slightly different variations. I'm not saying this is made up or anything like that but the story is always about the same. young kid gets sued, life is hard, damn the riaa.

here's my point. the average schmoe on the street has only heard the urban legend version of this and can't actually point to anyone who has been through it. on the other hand everybody saw the pepsi commercials of that 12 year old who got sued and everything just worked out right.

why is it that this sort of news never makes cnn?

Statutory damages are $750 per song.

"I've heard this story a dozen times or so in slightly different variations."

This is the first I've heard of the RIAA suggesting people drop out of college to pay off the extortion.

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. ... The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.

So . . . the RIAA has the balls to tell a kid to quit chool so that their stupid penalties can be paid.

Hey, RIAA . . . the shoe is now on the other foot. Why don't you quit representing the music industry so that we can continue downloading music???!!?!?!

"...pay off the extortion."

Great choice of words. Because EXTORTION is exactly what this is. Pay me or I'll sue. It'll cost you more in attorney fees. Blah blah blah. It all amounts to legal extortion.

The RIAA started suing college kids first -- before they branched out to pre-teens and dead grandmas. Schools like Princeton and something with Polytechnic in its name.

I thought (hoped) that one of these bright, talented, techno-saavy, World of Warcraft playing, young tech people would get a clue and ask the question: "How do we exact revenge on the evil overlords for the grief they have caused and stop them from fucking with us ever again?"

In WoW, the solution is simple -- erase your opponent from the landscape. The enemy is not a threat if they no longer exist.

This seems to be an annual lecture I give, which always ends with the instruction to simply erase the RIAA from p2p. This is inevitably followed by complaints that this is not a workable solution because this is how they get stick it back to the RIAA or other well-meaning objections, like, "Hey, what if I really like Dave Matthews?"

These objections overlook the fact that once you win the war, you're back to doing whatever the hell you feel like.

If the RIAA music is erased from p2p, they could not sue anyone. Then what do they do? Who do they blame their problems on then?

They don't want their music on the Internet. But how do you think they'd feel if they weren't there at all? They'd laugh and declare victory. For a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

If anyone can do this, it oughta be the people at MIT.

George, that is an excellent point. People, for whatever reason, seem to feel that it's both necessary and a God-given right to share the RIAA stuff with impunity.

We say on this site that it's better not to use their product at all, but no one seems to be willing to forgo the stuff. It's like some kind of addiction.

So, the next logical thing to do, as in WoW, is to simply remove it from existence. I'd love to see that happen. I agree with your scenario, it wouldn't take long once it's gone.

"George, that is an excellent point."

Read our Mission Statement folks...

(It is the LOUDEST message we have been trying to preach!)

============

Folks, you have to start turning OFF eMTv and ClearChannel and all the other so-called music ear-wigs.

"Arctic Monkey's" are NOT "indie" folks (they may have been a short while ago, but not no longer.)

++++++++++++++

IF YOU HEAR IT/SEE IT ON NATIONAL OR INTERNATIONAL TV/RADIO...

IT IS NOT "INDEPENDENT"

(OUR side doesn't yet have control of ANY national/international broadcast or media pipelines.)

...without the INTERNET, you wouldn't even have a chance to know SQUAT about any band that didn't play in your home-town.

(The RIAA, IFPI, etc. rightfully FEAR the Internet.)

...so, do as gdZiemann asks,

STOP downloading/sharing RIAA recordings! STOP throwing the enemy a life-preserver! Let them sink in their own self-created hell!