Halaka Animals and Fender Molds:

As you are quite possibly having been not or (are) aware, our long-standing hovel of banality and inconsequence on the world's widest web, halaka.org, was absent from its rightful place for a significant amount of time. Fortunately for the financiers of the world, though, this situation has at last been remedied. We've re-attained our gunk, and it is as filling as ever.

In celebrating this unsurpassed moment(s) in time(s), our generous and semi-talented Webmaster Mitch has remodeled our conundrum and drilled holes in our buckets. The website, that is to say, is back, is much improved, and is ready to conflate your issues.

If you're tired of reading this at this point (and who isn't?), without further adon't, here's the URL:

www.halaka.org

Mitch has been semi-busy updating things like the discography, and we've gotten ourselves the ability to host mp3s there. So there are quite a few tracks that most of you probably haven't heard before; certainly they aren't hosted elsewhere online, as far as I know.

There's more in the works; we plan on bringing many things out in the near to far future, such as:

· Interactive features (a bulletin board? A Wicket... erm.. Ewok? Whatever those... maybe a random gibberishator?)
· A video or two
· A web-exclusive release of one of our complete albums (which one?? The suspense just killed a guy. Hope somebody has a shovel.)
· A place to somehow order some junk (operative words being "somehow" and "junk"... we're still working this out.)
· A thing that'll let you download ice cream sandwiches right to your PC, so they'll come out through your speakers or your parallel port.

(NOTE: Halaka does not guarantee the validity of anything. At all. Ever.)

While at the site, sign up for the mailing list, if you haven't already. Being a disinterested halaka spectator has never been this glamorous!

It is greater than before. Go forth and multiply for it is written. Yes there is instability in the solar system and extra nurses will be needed. Apply here! Perhaps mercy and justice will prevail at the foot of the ancient apple tree of the sacred heart. You will see the coming of the one who claims to be Halaka and will deceive many by their false miracles, their false prophecies. This is NOT that! You must live the mission you were created to do. Go now brothers and Sisters, on the wings of an emu like the turtle racing to its vegetation. Do not fear for Halaka is with you always. They will never abandon you for you have great ears.

It is really marvelous. It's got colors and also colours. There is music and there is the history of the world's greatest whatever known only to someone in Iowa only (and they are not even sure about that or which one).

You guys, both, are right dead-on.

I mean that's not a death threat, nor treat, nor... it's. You're right on the carpark, there. I think.

I have to ask somebody.

Death threats, I'm moving to Iowa and calling Tom Ridge.

I want my money back, the thing didn't give me ice cream sandwiches but did manage to back up my sewer.