In addition to being a musician, I have represented many well known entertainers in litigation related matters over the years. I have come to the following generalizations, which seem to hold up from generation to generation:

1. Most famous musicians over 35 are broke or near broke. How do you think they get all those "Behind the Music" episodes?

2. Most record company execs are not broke. They need money to buy all those stupid tech stocks that become worthless. Example UMG purchasing MP3.com for 385 million. Hell, I would have sold them DMUSIC for half that!

3. Record exces have been screaming about record piracy for years - it didn't start with the internet. It just ended with the internet. Example: Now artists can get a listing of fraudulent record company releases that haven't been sending royalty statements. Just go to Amazon.com and search your name!

4. Incremental falsehoods have been foisted upon the artists for years. Example -"This letter shall confirm that artists gave record company the right to reproduce his masters on Compact disk at one half the rate of vinyl records since it is an experimental format." - No lie.

Here's another one - Artist has the right to audit record companies but record company is under no obligation to show artists pressing plant records. Duh!

5. Clive Davis doesn't have ears - he has a wallet only. Thats why Whitney Houston is so thin!! No money for food! (see number 1 above). I CHALLENGE CLIVE DAVIS TO A VIOLIN DUEL - the loser has to strip naked (or is that the winner?) If he just paid her half as much as they paid Mariah Cary to NOT SING!

6. I feel sorry for anyone who signs a deal with the majors that isn't represented BY A LAWYER WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOIUT THE MUSIC BUSINESS, SO THAT NORMAL, FAIR, NEUTRAL AND ETHICAL BUSINESS AND LEGAL PRINCIPLES APPLY, INSTEAD OF MUSIC BIZNESS LOGIC. How would you like to find out that your own lawyer is on a secret record company payroll! No lie.

7. If your typical famous or fame seeking artist was put in charge of homeland security, all Al Queda need do to win is offer him/her a record deal. "Where do I sign?"

8. Its better to be a songwriter than a musician. That's why the Coasters is about two jewish teenagers from new Jersey who wrote these great songs....

Got any others????? Post em here.....

I loved that article. It's one of those "why didn't I think to write that".

Valid points one and all leflaw, as usual.

How about this one...
Talent is not a sine qua non for success in the bizness.
and...
Salt dissolves slugs, but not agents.

With regard to the first point, I personally think that the more intelligent and talented a songwriter is, the more it HURTS them in the rekkid bizness.

Take one of my favorites, Danny O'Keefe. Danny has been around over two decades, and had ONE major hit..."Goodtime Charley's Got the Blues". He has consistently laid down one great music CD after another. His stuff truly is poetry set to music, and it is emotion laden and thought provoking. Once, I tried to get Danny on Austin City Limits, NO GO....but they regularly have had other, less talented but better known singer/songwriters.

And look at all our fine and talented independent artists struggling...while William Hung makes music videos. Go figger...

Breakage clause - Royalties paid on 90% with 10% percent going to cover the 78's that get broken during shipment.

"I CHALLENGE CLIVE DAVIS TO A VIOLIN DUEL - the loser has to strip naked (or is that the winner?) If he just paid her half as much as they paid Mariah Cary to NOT SING!"

LA Reid resigned Whitney to Arista for 100 million in 2001. She has released one album since and it bombed.

Whitney Houston, alas, has two major flaws, her voice and her husband,
Mr. Bobby "It's My Perogative" Brown.

I can't stand Whitney Houston. She sings MUZAK.

I'd rather here Southside Johnny, Andrew Strong (he played Deco in the movie, the Commitments) or Rod Stewart any day. The difference between them and Whitney, is like the difference between Raw Silk and cheap, shiny, polyester.

Interesting that you bring up Rod Stewart because his career was dead in the water when Clive had him do the standards album and it sold millions. Clive did the same thing for Santana when Santana came to him broke and begging for help. Clive put together Supernatural and it sold something like 10 million albums. So you can say what you want about Clive, but he does have ears and he does know what he is doing. He hasn't been around this long for nothing.

You know, I absolutely hate the standards album. Someone said the reason he did the standards was because he couldn't belt out the old tunes because of his throat problems after he was dxed with throat cancer.

Supernatural was a great CD (I bought it). But, as with the Wizard of Oz and the scarecrow, tin woodsman, and "cowardly lion", clive didn't give them their talent or flair for musical phrasings....and that brings us to the notion that just because a song, a movie, or whatever enjoyes commercial success....it doesn't mean it's good (doesn't mean it's bad either for that matter)...we can just look at earworms like "Who let the dogs out" (we've gone down this road before) to see that, one hit wonders that turn a hook into an entire song....like that Macarena nonsense, is more about marketing than talent.

geez,...I need to jump on myself for spelling...I'd rather "here" should read...I'd rather "hear"...no excuse for that. My ADD must be working overtime.

And another thing, occasionally the culture will just designate a movie or a song as a classic...when it is fundamentally not better than other movies or songs. Case in point...Stairway to Heaven. I was around when it came out. I think most people nowadays think it's one of the top all time rock anthems, and yet, to be honest, I think When the Lady Smiles by Golden Earring, is musically more interesting and builds to a great crescendo than Stairway. Lyrics are at
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/golden_earring/when_the_lady_smiles.html

Lyrics to Stairway are at http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/led-zeppelin/82076.html.

Now, some would say that the lyrics to Stairway are more philosophical or something...to me, that's possibly valid...however, the Golden Earring song generates more of that tingle down the spine feeling (beta-endorphin release) than Stairway.

In movies, Citizen Kane is supposed to be a classic. I've never been able to sit through that film once, and I have tried at least seven times to watch it.
The Caine Mutiny to me is far superior. Perhaps the low-key acting of Orson Welles is what kills my interest, but it being the story of a publishing magnate doesn't help either.

It's like certain songs, certain guitar riffs, certain movies become accepted as icons and classics...but it is a type of urban myth...that they are classics not on their true merit, but because everyone has decided just to say they are.

From the first point in the article, it sounds like most famous musicians may need a good financial adviser as well as a good lawyer. It may be true that they many are broke or near broke because they get screwed in contracts, but I'll bet many don't manage the money they do make very well (we are talking about the famous ones, of course. Those who are not famous typically don't make a lot of money to begin with).

Musicians who hit it big on one hit, probably have all the ability to manage their money that a poor person who hits the lottery.

Code, you ought sit down with popcorn in a theatre and see the whole of Citizen Kane. Its got subtlety that doesn't come across on TV.

Clive Davis and Rod Stewart were on Good Morning America. Two interesting points, the first I am sure about: (1) When Rod Stewart was asked what he thought about file sharing he said that he could not give the answer that he wanted to give because Clive was sitting next to him.

(2) I believe Rod said that it was he who wanted to the standards record.

"you ought sit down with popcorn in a theatre and see the whole of Citizen Kane."

Can you rent screens for movies in America? I think that's the only way you're gonna be able to watch Citizen Kane in theatres today

I plan to sit down w/ my wife and some popcorn and see a REAL classic....AVP...Alien Vs. Predator....
as they say where I am living now...
"Yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaw,....now that's a damn fine motion picture!"

I think the Bible Codes foretold AVP would be a runaway hit < wink >

Gotta be better than The Village which we saw this week...It's hard to tell anyone anything about the film without ruining it for them....

As Tom and I were saying...it's like a long Twilight Zone episode in color with a couple "gotchas" near the end.

There is no justice in what history proclaims to be "classic".

There may be better rock ballads than Stairway to Heaven, but in spite of myself, I get tingles still when I hear it.
Personally, Zappa's "Drowning Witch" gives me many more tingles, but I realize that is a subjective thing, i don't expect the average Joe to hear that song the way I do.

Unfortunately, classics are determined mostly by the combination of critical acclaim and popular appeal, having both makes a classic, therefore, superior but obscure items often do not receive the recognition they may deserve, but we can't entirely blame the RIAA for that.

"Example UMG purchasing MP3.com for 385 million. Hell, I would have sold them DMUSIC for half that!"

You better be kidding Larry.

I agree that having a music biz lawyer is the WORST choice in a lawyer a musician could ever make. (Unless maybe an untainted kid fresh outta law school or our own esteemed leflaw ...uh, that is if he doesn't sell dmusic to UMG

Hmmm. I wonder two things: who gets the royalties for "Over the Rainbow", and if Judy Garland's estate (would that be Liza Minnelli?) receives internet-based royalties.

Come to think of it, shouldn't Pink Floyd get royalties every time some neophyte plays Dark Side of the Moon while watching the Wizard of Oz? Maybe if you rented a movie theatre to do it...

Are there any musicians over 35 who don't have a day job? (Day Job equals teacher, janitor, lawyer, etc.)

11. Any artist who "does the homework" and asks the "intelligent questions" of the lawyers, A&R Reps, or record business ANYBODY.. gets dropped from consieration of a label contract faster than the last meal of a diarrhatic dog!

12. Any artist who is not willing to starve themselves silly, get a boob job (girl) or a nut job (boy) and contract any unknown std's from underrated record-exec sleazes will get dropped.

WHOOAHH, Code.. you and I have VERY DIFFERENT tastes in music.. Rod Stewart is a money boy.. even if it means butchering "standards".. by the way, as a jazz person, I wonder why most artist come around to "standards" in the first place, and why they always sell so well in the second place?? Hmmmmm.