Crazed Mormon wants to outlaw modern day walkman

BMG and Sony Merger shot down citing WWII prison camp atrocities and general bad taste.

Hilary Rosen asks James Carville to donate sperm

Mitch Bainwol to star in Spider Man III - Spiderman v. the Michelin Man

112% of P2P file transfers are pornographic, explains new MPAA study

California repeals record company auditing rights provision citing terrorist concerns.

Hyundi to provide cars with Cd-burners

U.S Copyright Office opens branch in Berlin and Tokyo citing need to fight axis of P2P evil

Congress repeals Sherman antitrust act; Bill Gates buys Federal trade commission.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Larry I have an idea. Let's sue each other. Dmusic can put out a CD containing a song and a recording in the public domain and lock it with DRM. I will purchase such CD, hack the DRM and start selling the recording on ebay. Then you can sue me for violating the DMCA. You'll win on the district court level and then I'll win on appeal.

wait aminute. You can't do that!

Whoa! That lawyer instinct is kicking in with leflaw!

I like the idea about the cars with CD Burners though! It would only make sense-- Record a show on the radio (or the "free" music) onto a CD for you to listen to later at home.

Shouldn't the one about the Copyright Office say a branch was opened in Beijing and Ottawa? Then again, Berlin and Tokyo sound just as crazy, lol.

Here's one to add:

Cary Sherman sues son for listening to new U2 song before it was released.

and another one:

Cary Sherman, Jack Valenti and Bill Gates join to create "Unholy Trinity" in attempt to change copyright law from life + 90 years to life plus life of the Sun.

God now on DMCA radar as scientists work feverishly to preserve His work lest He be sued for allowing the Sun to die (and thus causing all copyrights to expire).

Was it absolutely neccesary to insult mormons in this post?

who has the copyright on the bible?

"Was it absolutely neccesary to insult mormons in this post?"

It's not a broad statement. It's ONE, not ALL...

I got one:

ORRIN HATCH TO ENDORSE NEW P2P NETWORK.

Gideons International and all those people who come out with those "updated" versions of the text probably claim copyright over it.

Hey, I was right. I just looked at my New Testament (as given by Gideon) and it says (c) National Publishing Company 1968. I have a Bible here that's copyright 1998 and a copy of the Book of Mormon that's copyright 1981. I just don't see how you can copyright the Word of God. No wonder God won't talk to us anymore. He's so darn afraid that whoever had the nerve to copyright His word will jump up and sue him for copyright infringement.

And could the people that give out Bible's be sued for copyright infringement? Possibly. Especially if the INDUCE Act passes. Mr. Hatch will feel pretty stupid when he realizes his own act forbids the free distribution of Bibles and Books of Mormon because they'll induce children to SHARE! Ha, see. There are passages in the Bible that tell people to share things with their friends, neighbors and strangers. It doesn't say what exactly to share, whether it be food, clothing, a place to sleep, the passages imply that all sharing is good. So now they will be forbidden and it will all be Mr. Hatch's fault. And since the Bible will be involved, the Supreme Court will strike it down as an infringement on a person's right to religion.

U.S. INVADES IRAQ!!
PRESIDENT BUSH CLAIMS 'WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION'!!



oh wait...that's already been done

good 1 Hummbugger.



Here's one,

CONGRESS ABIDES BY 1ST AMMENDMENT WHEN ENACTING NEW COPYRIGHT LAWS!

"Was it absolutely neccesary to insult mormons in this post?"

I agree. I am getting tired of it continuing to happen on this website.

When generalizing people in a negative way you have the potential to eliminate quite a few allies. Generalizing Mormons in a negative way is no better than the RIAA generalizing P2P users in a negative way. Please think about what you say before you say it. Please have some respect.

I'm mormon and it didn't offend me, what offends me is oral hatch !!! 10/4 flbgbt

I met a guy in the State Democratic PAC. He sent me this———

Setev says:This was forwarded to me this morning. Some of you may already have seen it but I'm passing it along in case you have not.



Monday, August 02, 2004 9:42 AM
Subject: Republican National Convention



>> Through an inside contact that must remain secret I have managed to get a
>> copy of the agenda for the upcoming Republican Convention. I am passing
>
>
>
it

>> along as an item of civic interest.
>>
>> REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
>> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell: Why God is a
>> Republican.
>> 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
>> 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
>> 6:46 PM Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment
>> 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
>> 7:40 PM NRA Guns, use em or lose em symposium
>> 8:00 PM Vote on which countrys to invade next
>> 8:10 PM Pat Robertson: Why creationism is a science and global warming is
>
>
>
a

> myth.
> 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Homos are after your children
> 8:30 PM Round Table on reproductive rights (MEN only)
> 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 - Trees: The real cause of forest fires
> 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
> 10:00 PM Support group: It's ok to be white, rich and successful!
> 10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
> 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
> 10:35 PM Bush demonstrates trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
> 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
> 10:46 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
> 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
> 11:35 PM Blame Clinton
> 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
> 12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Supreme Planetary Overlord
> 12:30PM Vision speech by Geo. Bush: No Millionaire Left Behind

Leflaw, your true calling is making up lists. I should have been your high school job counselor, we could have set you on the proper career path, instead of a calling as a Photoshop terrorist. Life is what you make it, like a cake. It could be a mess or an angel food.

I like your style, boy. These slogans should go on screaming NY Post type headlines.

This reminds me of the thing I stumbled across, the Church of Bob. You can sign up for a divinity degree online. But what I like are their mail-order graphics on the t-shirts. Therefore, I sent the following email to Code Wrrior, trying to induce him, to come back. ("Shane! Come back! Mom needs you! I do too!")

Code, could you please set up a church on Dmusic? Check this out.

http://www.subgenius.com/
http://www.cafeshops.com/subgen.8403744

it's worth going to just for the hilary clinton pinata party....

Here's one from that attack at at the Vatican in the 1970s.

"Pieta? I thought it said Pinata!"

Liquor store operated by Senator Oral Hatch suspected of being a front for DVD pirating ring.

wait maybe that should read: Downtown brothel and laundry service

or how about

Former riaa boss hilary rosen arrested for carrying a recorder into a William Hung concert. Claims she couldn't resist his version of the "Macarena"

or maybe

Cheif executive for the riaa carey sheman sues Christmas carolers for copyright infringement.

or how about

mpaa cheif jack "drac" valenti chased by angry mob carrying torches and pitchforks



naaahhhh, back to downloading.

This IS a CONTEST, right. Don't cast your pearls before swine, people. What is the prize?

I say a Gibson guitar.

I've already won, where I do I claim my just reward.

Unfortunately for you, Tom, somebody screwed up the purchase order. so, instead of a Gibson guitar, you get a Gypsum guitar. Oh well, let's just chalk it up to experience, eh?

A gypsum guitar in a Brazilian Rosewood case.

Tom Barger wins guitar in contest, has it stolen by marauding gang of p2p downloaders the next day


Tom Barger wins guitar in contest, oral hatch claims it will induce children to look at pornography and promises new legislation.


Tom Barger wins guitar in contest. riaa proposes a new 750% tax levy per year on all musical instruments to help compensate for sagging record sales

For the record, now, Mormons are not Christians, but are instead part of a crazed cult that defiles the Bible by worshipping the brother of Satan instead of Jesus Christ. No, seriously, I got this info from http://invitation.to/dance/cults-mormon.htm, which seeks to defend Christians from the evils of Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientology, etc.
Now, do you reeeeeally want copyright laws that are championed by a member of sect labelled by Christians as a Bible-defiling cult?

Blue, I find that offensive and I'm not even Mormon. My ex-girlfriend is, though. I've read the Book of Mormon. It tells how the Native Americans got here and what Jesus was doing during the years he's not mentioned in the Bible.

Anyone that worships the Lord Jesus Christ is a Christian.

And you know something, the founder of the Mormon Church actually predicted the American Civil War a full 20 years before it happened. Yeah, it would have probably happened anyway, but considering the man also predicted how long it would last, as well as the outcome, then you have to give him credit.

Well, for the record, I intended to poke fun not at the Mormons, but at the 'Christian' authors of the cited website who insist that the Mormons are not Christians. After all, surely they would not support legislation put forth by a (gasp) Mormon!

Also, since you bring up Joseph Smith (founder of the Mormon Church), he also said that God appeared before him and commanded that he and his followers practice polygamy. So, if you go with the Civil War prediction, you have to go with the polygamy commandment too. Religious freedom, and all that.

"God appeared before him and commanded that he and his followers practice polygamy"


Amen brother.

polygamy? religious freedom? civil war?

did somebody say something about 70 virgins or something like that ? beats the hell out of that gypsum guitar. makes for some interesting headlines

Tom wins gypsum guitar takes the capt out to celebrate with 70 virgins.

or

Tom wins 70 virgins, plays gypsum guitar to celebrate while oral hatch declares a civil war on file sharing.

or

riaa cheif cary sheman demands royalties from polygamists who play gypsum guitars and stockpile virgins

Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior

Sullen, Depressed President Retreats Into Private, Paranoid World

Oh wait, these are real headlines.

this guy is so stupid
why the hell ,,,
oh never mind hes a mormon
that says it all
mormons are among the most ignorant and stupidest religion i know
(no offense to mormons)
but who ever believes jesus crist lived in america and turned the indians red for his anger toward them is a stupid dumbass

but this guy is picture perfect stupid
walkman is obselete anyway
its disc man now stupid

Hey man, lay off the Mormons. This site is an equal opportunity offender.

Well, I'm pissed nobody picked up on my sick Gypsum/chalk pun.

With regards to the mormons, lutherans, protestants, baptists ...essentially they are all churches of convenience. They didn't think it was convenient to accept the pope's rule (with good reason, when the popes were worse that saddam) so they started up their own branches of christianity. All basically the same, we all like the big JC, but we all do it slightly differently. Some are definitely a little weird but that's the way it goes. To those guys who are offended by mormon jokes, beware of false piety. What the hell, I'm an irish mick and we've been (and still are) the butt of all sorts of religious and drinking jokes. Some of the funniest comics are jewish who's main repertoire is making fun of their own religion or more accurately poking fun of how some people practice their religion. You know what, I've learned quite a bit about judiasm from these comics....education through laughter..nice concept.

A moment of praise for the devout among the Mormons:
They do not drink or smoke.
They abhor religious persecution.
They voluntarily tithe 10 percent of their income to the church, which is then used to beautify their communities, educate the children, and help the poor - in other words, they pay much higher 'taxes' to help the less fortunate.
They similarly do good works wherever they proselytize.

I would also note that the U.S. government essentially waged two wars against the Mormons in order to punish them for practicing polygamy in the 19th Century, which is an untenable violation of the freedom of religion. IMHO, the definition of marriage is an ecumenical question, not one for the government to impose.

My apologies, blue. I thought you were really going after the Mormons there.

Maybe Joseph Smith being told by God to practice polygamy wasn't a commandment, but a phrophesy (one that they took to mean right away). Consider this, should same-sex marriages become the norm in the country, then they'll have to allow people to practice polygamy. It's only fair, afterall.

I am LDS and post here periodically, and though some of the comments about are misleading and demeaning to me, i refuse to get offended.
All in All, if you would like to learn about LDS or Mormon ppl, you should get it from them and from visiting www.lds.org or www.fair-lds.org
Both these sites contain plenty of information on the beliefs and faith of LDS or mormon ppl.

captdunsel

Martyr'd Muslims, upon suicide missions, are offered 72 virgins, and I'm still wondering what kind of people envision heaven as a brothel.

Is it 72 virgins? I thought it was 70...
hmmm, well this changes things...

NiceGuy, in retrospect my post could have been read either way - sorry for opening the door to confusion.

btw, I don't think same-sex marriages will ever be 'the norm' in this country... but neither should they be banned (nor polygamy). These things should just be outside the purview of the government altogether.

Btw, polygamy don't sound that bad

To clarify on Polygamy, during the time that we were being persecuted and the state of Missouri made it legal to murder Mormons, we were on a trek to Zion (wherever that would be, turned out to be the area of salt lake city), along the way, many people died, woman lost their husbands, fortunately, we took a leaf out of the scriptures and practiced polygamy, giving wives the chance to be supported by a husband, in the case that they would not be supported.

Lots of funnies posted here, and I needed a laugh or two after my long day! But no offense was meant in the first place, as Oral Hatch is crazed no matter what his religious choice.

polygamy: effect on the status of women; Discuss

polyandry: would men's egos be shattered? Discuss

Mormon's are taught to always be honest in their dealings.....Mr. Hatch obviously isn't practicing that, because if he were, he wouldn't be constantly attempting to "sneak" legislation through congress whether the people like it or not. That is quite evident in the last heraing where he said openly that he was going to pass this law (Induce) with or without the opposing sides help. What about the input of the people? Don't they matter? Is all that matters is what the greedy corporates want and his willingness to support them in exchange for contributions? No, doesn't sound like he is honest in his dealings at all. It also doesn't make sense that gay marriage would be permitted, but yet polygamy was outlawed and isn't part of the effort to make gay marriage legal. That doesn't sound fair. But then, not much in government is fair.

leflaw

You wouldn't be thinking that way, if they all PMS'ed all at the same time :>)

Hey were also taught not to kill, but it turns out that the Hacking guy murdered his wife. Just because one guy is a nutcase, dont let that spoil your view on the rest of us, and also the head of our church has released a letter saying that the church in no way endorses either party, that we should choose a candidate who best suits our needs, and that any politician in office who is a member, (like hatch) does not reflect the feelings of the church.

hmmm, I thought the object here was to have a laugh or two. foolish me.

very well,
- I apologize for having offended anyone of any faith-- mormon, christian, jew, buddhist (sp?), islam, hindu, rajneesh, druid, scientologist or agnostic.

- I apologize for leaving out any religion I insulted and didn't specifically apologize to.

- I apologize for implying that I would support any form of bigamy/polygamy/polyandry or improper touching of people out of wedlock.

- I apologize for any insult to virgins/non-virgins or people who play gypsum guitars.

- I apologize for any unclean thoughts that may have been inspired by all my talk of virgins, gypsum guitars, sex, drugs or rock and roll or filesharing.

damn this is catholic school all over again.

I strongly urge each and every one of you to go to your room and humbly pray for the remainder of the evening to whatever diety you worship for forgiveness for the remainder of the evening. that's what I'm gonna do.

Orin Hatch is a Mormon who just happens to be crazy.

YoItsDeluxSon, not pickin' a fight here, but I'm pretty sure it was the Polygamy that led to the persecution... and Missouri didn't make it legal to murder Mormons, they just didn't bother arresting people who did such things (which is what they were already doing to blacks throughout the South, including in MO). I'm curious now (on a wholly serious note) is there racism/persecution of minorities in Utah?

Carla, you know some women say that even monogomous marriage is a form of slavery, upholding man's 'dominant' position in society (but try telling that to my wife with her executive MBA). Polygamy/polyandry = matters of personal choice, effects notwithstanding. Both polygamous and polyandrous societies continue to exist on this great mudball, neither one breaking down over any inherent faults in the system.

captdunsel, I apologize as well - just because I support the right to have multiple spouses doesn't mean I'm a bigaman than you.

pinemikey... gypsum... chalk... oh, I get it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

ok well I would like to make up a headline about the picture of the hatchit man " Orin hatch shows off his lastest gift from the RIAA as he comented" There's a new sheriff in town and his name is Orin Hatch!!!!!!!!

Or how about -----wondering why a senator like Hatch would introduce such LAME bills into the senate for passage into laws he reveals that his Tight cowboy hat has cut off the circulation of blood to his brain

save a horse, ride a cowboy...

and then there's "Ok folks my posse and me are headed out to the range cause were gonna round up all those Bad Actors and put them in the whoscow and latter were gonna hang 'm -----hang'm high

ok I apologize for not locking myself away in prayer for the rest of the evening. I'm actually going to go to work and do my part to help thwart the criminal menace. maybe that will buy me a little forgiveness. (unless somebody shoots me.) (again)

CAPT you a cop?????????

The RIAA has started hacking private pier to pier networks and kicking people from them regardless of whether they are sharing RIAA material or not. I was just thrown out of my own friend’s network and I SHARE NO RIAA MATERIAL. If you are interested in the information and know how we or I can sue the RIAA for this email me at idontcareican@hotmail.com

happens to be? what is this 'happens to be' business? you say that like its a friggin accident

"i have a friend who happens to be black"

"he had 2 black parents?"

"yes"

"and they f$%^ed?"

"Oh, indeed they did"
...*crickets*

So Orin Hatch is crazy because his parents were crazy?

This just in! Hatch has been caught in the acts of performing sexual favors for various senators!

According to a video obtained by the AP, Hatch was giving oral sex to one "Bill Frist." This was followed by a $55,000,000,000 lawsuit to the AP, and a $25,000,000,000 lawsuit to the individual who recorded it (who earns $30,000 year)

Hate to double post, but I forgot to add this at the end:

According to Hatch, the lawsuits are completely reasonable, and the video tap was "modified" using an "illegal" copy of Adobe Photoshop 6. Adobe is also being sued for $70,000,000,000 for disagreeing.

In a related story, George Bush may have come across the funding needed for the War in Iraq...

oops, just re-read the purchase order...make that a granite guitar. It comes with it's own 2 ton lifting jack and is only tuned for rock music. (yuk)